<font color="green">[b] Ok BJ, to begin with how old were you when this happened? Do you know a child that age? Think about that child - is there anything she could do that would 'earn' her that kind of abuse? Of course not! and of course you did nothing to deserve it either.

Next you have to understand, that our bodies can become programed to react to certian stymulis. It is normal for an adult to fantasize about s@x. Try to accept yourself as you are and not be so judgemental and harsh with yourself. You are a person of great worth.
Hugs if ok