Maybe you can reframe that to say that you are deeply hurting? It is ok to hurt and we all show our wounds differently. Therapists are supposed to help us with complex trauma know how to handle our hurts in more adaptive ways instead of penalizing us for maladaptive behaviors. I am sorry you are hurting so much right now.

Regarding the dbt, I did an online course and found it very helpful. It was not one-on-one but I did get individual feedback to my homework and questions answered. I didn't have time for a traditional dbt program so it worked well for me. So I would suspect that dbt via chat could work. It won't get to the root problems but it does help manage the distress and help find new ways to cope with pain. It gave me a new outlook.

I hope things work out for you. I don't post much but I have been following your story and rooting for you.