Aug 31, 2019 at 06:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BizzyBee
Maybe you can reframe that to say that you are deeply hurting? It is ok to hurt and we all show our wounds differently. Therapists are supposed to help us with complex trauma know how to handle our hurts in more adaptive ways instead of penalizing us for maladaptive behaviors. I am sorry you are hurting so much right now.
Regarding the dbt, I did an online course and found it very helpful. It was not one-on-one but I did get individual feedback to my homework and questions answered. I didn't have time for a traditional dbt program so it worked well for me. So I would suspect that dbt via chat could work. It won't get to the root problems but it does help manage the distress and help find new ways to cope with pain. It gave me a new outlook.
I hope things work out for you. I don't post much but I have been following your story and rooting for you.
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I do not think the core problem can ever be fixed. Managing symptoms and using cognitive reasoning instead of immediately acting on emotions to to get rid of the overwhelming emotions will take diligent practice and maybe by the time I am 70yrs old, and if I do not kill myself by then, all this will just naturally calm down. In the mean time I a am not living my life to full potential. Just under the radar, just skirting by in life as it is all I can manage.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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