While I am wandering on the internet to make sense of my life and my feelings or lack thereof,I do realize I am different.I see people enjoying their moments.It all dawns upon me,I never was in the moment,as life passed by.I was either stuck in the past,or looking into perceived dangers in future.Not my fault that much awareness I have developed.My brain is programmed in that way as a survival skill.So it is what it is.I feel whatever I feel.