Hi Trace, I'm sorry, I just noticed this post just now. Not having a very good year myself this year tbh.
Well, the truth is that your mother is from a very different generation and at 80 years old she more than likely will not change in her behavior patterns. The only one that can do that is you and I think you are slowly figuring out what things won't work too. It's much like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole at this point when you try to do anything new in hopes she will change her way of being. Also, as people age they gradually lose their filter so there will be things she will do without even thinking about how it affects others.
I am sorry about that, I understand that is hard as often we always have some "hope" a person might change for the better when often they never do and may even get worse as they get older too.