I don't usually worry and fear being DID again, that's why I was shocked.

it is impossible for me to have all the alters that are integrated to become unintegrated with me again. like explained in that other thread all the different elements that created Rainy and who and what she was would have to line up perfectly again. since I am not that under 5 year old child with the same brain pathways, and no coping tools and undergoing that exact trauma she will never become a dissociated alter again. she is forever integrated together with my conscious personality as one whole personality.

my fear and worry was not in that those integrated were becoming unintegrated again. it was the freakish possibility that after 10 plus years that my treatment providers and I may have missed a couple caused by so many people online telling me that this normal part of me was an alter.

it was the situation where how many times does someone walk up to you and say to you that you did something, you know you didn't but every time you turn around someone says you did. how many times does this have to happen before you start questioning yourself and your behaviors, and whether or not that's part of one of your past diagnosis's or a diagnosis at all.

everywhere I turned people online in my other forums that I visit, were telling me this normal part of myself was an alter. After so many times over the course of a week this happening I naturally started questioning myself and building up into worry and fear.

I don't usually worry about becoming DID again because I do know that for me its impossible for my alters t become unintegrated for all the reasons posted in the other thread.

this was just internet induced fear and worry and as a result my treatment provider diagnosed me with a new OSDD disorder label that was added to the DSM 5 in October.