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Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
I avoided these kind of twisty, painful relationships in real life, so I can’t fathom how this one developed in therapy of all places. The psychoanalyst told me to read up on Kohut’s “ twinship” concept . It is like my T and I enact rather than process, and we might unfortunately have related areas of weakness / wounding and trigger each other . I don’t know. I am almost addicted to my T, like we are not just looking back at trauma but also recreating a version of it in real time.
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yes, this is exactly what was going on in my own therapy as well. i never experienced such drama with others in my life as i did with ex-T. it's like we fed off each others triggers constantly and neither of us knew how to put an end to it. as much as i tried, i don't think T really fully comprehended what exactly was going on until after i ended therapy and we discussed it more later upon meeting a few times.
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Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
A great outcome would be this moment of hardcore standing up for myself creates a lasting sea change as our session was a sea change. I don’t truly believe entrenched dynamics can change radically, but unwisely I am goi g to see it through.
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this definilty is not an easy situation to get one's self unstuck from, but i have hope for you because you now are more aware of what really is taking place that knowledge definilty will help aid and empower you to not become so entrenched in this situation any further. i reckon you will start experiencing a sense of control returning to you and your therapy.
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Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
It is wrong to say I love my T, but it is not romantic . It is bc he speaks my language.
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i don't think this is wrong to say...i loved my ex-T and still do to this day. he has a good heart and good intentions as a human being, but in all honesty, he is a mediocre T for me. it's taken me a while to get to this stage, and i'm fortunate because my T has been willing to remain in contact after i left so we have been able to smooth and repair things out between us. if he hadn't, i reckon that i would be incredibly hurt, bitter, and angry still to this day and that's a dismal place that i don't care to be struck in any further due to a therapeutic relationship and therapy gone wrong.