There are no alternatives. That is the only "point" that remains in my life. Doesn't matter if I go walk around. Yeah, I'll feel better, temporarily. But that doesn't change the exigent circumstances I am in, and that reality is unyielding. There is no peace because no matter where I go I am still stuck with this life.

It was never about the Philippines, it was about her. It was about the fact that all of society is nothing but hypocrites because I paid my dues. I owe the state nothing. I owe the public nothing. And yet, everyone is somehow allowed to operate under the mistaken impression that they are allowed to demand anything from me simply because of my past. Anyone who thinks that way can piss off as far as I'm concerned. It is my inalienable right to travel without government interference; it is my inalienable right to marry whomever I choose. It is my inalienable right to be free of intrusive search and seizure without cause.

I came very close to expressing my frustration with DHS in their HQ to make sure I left a stain on their lobby floor.

Sometimes, there are no second chances in life, either. I think it's only the fact that I am obsessive about achieving normalcy and mediocrity that keeps me from considering more permanent solutions, and that's not really a stable support system, is it? At least, it's not a solution I care to accept.