I'm surprised to see posts of mine above where I reported feeling sort of okay. It shows me that intervals of feeling very down come, and they go. This morning I've been down. Already even had a crying spell.

I want to know how much longer my s.o.'s terminal illness is going to last. A year ago I was happy he was still alive. Now I think everyday how I wish this could be over for both of our sakes.

The apartment is messy. I keep him clean and fed. Beyond the essentials, I have no motivation. Thick, visible dust covers everything. The floors are dirty.

I do always feel improved when I get something cleaned. So I have a goal of doing that today.