I 100% agree with your T and Mouse, talking about it and processing it helps a lot.

I share very similar feelings. It is okay to have those feelings and it's incredibly brave to voice them. I also used to feel intense shame but now I don't. T has said all my feelings are valid. I told her that I wanted to live with her and be with her 24/7. She said she understood that. I even said I would want to spend 90% of the time locked in a warm hug with her (nothing sexual) and she was okay with that as well. She said obviously this is real life and it can't happen, but it doesn't mean the very real feelings can't be looked at and validated and understood.

There IS a real freedom in being vulnerable, even if it doesn't seem so now. It's that which has potential for healing with a safe and compassionate T. It will also hopefully lead to better relationships with others in your life, and most importantly with yourself.