I’m used to being independent and generally the role I play in my life is that of a caretaker to others both at home and at work. I guess I’m sort of uncomfortable when the roles are reversed. I just sent my T of 2 years an email saying that he matters to me and that I miss him between sessions. This was tough for me to say and to admit to myself, and now I feel sick to my stomach. It doesn’t help that he does not reply to emails. I think what I’m feeling is shame. Shame about having these feelings and shame about expressing them and shame about not getting a response. Is this useful at all? I can endure discomfort if it’ll be useful to me in the long run, but I don’t want to do it just for the heck of it. I know a lot of people think about their T’s between sessions and miss them, and I know it’s an attachment thing, but it sucks and doesn’t seem to serve a purpose. My T will say that the solution is to talk about it, so I guess that’s what we’ll eventually do, but it sounds long and painful. I’m curious about other people’s experiences.

Please no therapy-bashing posts.