Hello researchtopractice: Thank you for sharing your concern here on PC. I noticed this is your first posted thread here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry you had such a dreadful inpatient experience. I've been inpatient twice and, although they weren't great experiences, they were certainly a lot better than what you describe.

You mentioned applying for disability. So one additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the Insurance & Finances forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/insurance-and-finances/

And then here are links to 4 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

What is Complicated Grief? | Mental Health Awareness

Complicated Grief: How to Get Unstuck | Bonding Time

Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) | Psych Central

Healthy Ways to Cope with PTSD

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.