I think I don't have any formal diagnosis yet. My doctor just told me it's probably bipolar.

But there's a problem and I have very mixed feelings about it. I really struggle with accepting it. Sometimes I think that it's not real and I must have made it up. Sometimes it really scares me. When I heard from the doctor for the first time that I'm probably bipolar, I thought that it was the end of my life. But I'm also relieved by the idea that my problem has a name and there are ways how to treat it. It's complicated.

Now I'm trying hard to understand that bipolar (or whatever it is) is not my only characteristic.