Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
You seem torn about whether you want him to behave personally or not. You seem to be crying out for him to be authentic, compassionate, and in relation with you - you want an intimate connection which by its very nature is personal.
When you say you don't want him to take things personally, I read that you want him to be able to withstand an intimate connection with you without him acting out - even if you are acting out. This seems understandable to me and it would be within the skill set of a humanistic therapist.
|
Yes, I think I want him to be able to sort of hold my feelings. I feel I’m getting the negative side of his sharing his feelings with me without the positive. Like if at times he was like “I care very much about you, so it’s hard to see you hurting like this” to balance out the “I feel you’re trying to control me” or “you’re being manipulative,” then I think I could deal with it. But it’s like I’m just getting his negative reactions. And it would be good to explore what they’re really about. He seems open to that at times but not others.
Maybe I do need a humanistic one, but they seem sort of rare in my area per Psychology Today (despite my area having quite a few T’s, like kind of a ridiculous number really). The one I’m attempting to consult with again (possibly see longer term?) is trained in attachment issues.