Here's part of his side to the story. You moving in with him wasn't a result of the two of you freely deciding that was what you both wanted. The relationship hadn't gotten to quite that point. But you hurried things up. You were anxious to move in with him. So you got into a housing crisis. You lost your subsidized housing and that put him under pressure to rescue you. He had to either take you in, or let you wander the streets. That was unfair to him. He agreed to take you in, but he resented you being so dependent on him. He continues to resent it. Now and then, he'll say it's okay for you to be there, but he "keeps changing his mind" according to your posts. Actually, he never freely entered into this arrangement. He hadn't been persistently inviting you to live with him, saying he just hated for you to be away. He didn't initiate this cohabitation arrangement. And it is his place. But you got your foot in the door and managed to push your way in. That's not a healthy way for a couple to begin cohabiting. This arrangement was arrived at "under duress." He was put "on the spot."

I don't have relationship advice. Continue the relationship if you like. But be responsible for housing yourself. Go to the housing authority. They will be somewhat unsympathetic because they see that you and your son had a subsidized apartment and you both left it. If your eligibility for that apartment was lost by your son leaving (as he insisted on doing,) then you could have asked the housing authority to allow you to transition to a smaller apartment that met their standard for a one-person residence. Instead, you went into "crisis" mode and dropped the problem in this man's lap. He's not happy about that. I don't blame him.

You need to grab the bull by the horns and pursue getting your own residence. You will need subsidizing, and will have to make amends with the gov. housing authority for summarily ditching your previous residence. You have some dues to pay. You'll have to jump through some hoops and satisfy some bureaucratic requirements. You may have to accept temporary assignment to a shelter. You may have to petition for a voucher to get temporary placement in a motel. You would do well to approach agencies that assist the disabled to procure housing. It'll be a hassle. But that would be you solving your problem of getting yourself housed. That's paying the dues to earn the respect of being an independent adult. Meanwhile the relationship goes where it goes. You need to stop comingling the pursuit of getting a Sig. other and getting a roof over your head. You want both. That's fine and normal. But they are 2 separate issues. You need a place to live that does not put you in a dependency trap. Getting that may be a pain in the butt. That's life. You have been adjudged disabled and entitled to social service support. Pursue that. Get what you're entitled to, though it may take a while. Nevermind further confusing everything by an unrealistic plan whereby "I'll stop being disabled, and I'll look for a job, and then I'll have more income, and then I'll use my enlarged income to finance a nice apartment, and that's my plan. Of course, first, I'll have to subsidize my son getting set up in a place he finds comfortable, so things will take a while." That's not a plan. That's wishful thinking that ignores reality. Also, that so-called plan is driving this man you live with crazy.

Get in your own space. Then be with this man WHEN you want . . .. BECAUSE you want . . . and because HE wants you around . . . . . . instead of a forced arrangement arrived at under duress.