I'm sorry you're having this reaction. It must feel disheartening. Typically, when a person is trying to return to work, following a period of illness, the recommendation is to start out part-time to ensure the person doesn't put too much pressure on themselves too soon. Perhaps your situation is similar?

It might have been good to have started out initially in some capacity that didn't require you to be on stage. Or, if you were going to be on stage, it might have been best had it been what I believe is sometimes referred to as a "cameo" appearance. But, of course, that's easy for me to say. And hindsight is always 20/20, as the saying goes.

Thanks for sharing your experience with this though. I do believe there is something to be said for using one's passion to do battle with one's depression. But it's not as simple a process as it can sometimes sound. Hopefully the experience you've shared here can be of help to someone else who has depression & who's thinking about following their bliss.