A lot’s been going on in my life as of late...a lot of good & some bad. First, I moved about 2 hours from home a couple years ago for law school. It really felt good to not only have found my passion, but to get the hell away from all the toxicity in my family.

Prior to moving, I’d been in therapy for 5 years. A lot of progress had been made. I was in a healthy -albeit long distance- relationship. My T helped me realize my passion & actually make steps to achieve my goals. I realized that my past was traumatic & that subjecting myself to the same environment (living with my parents) affected my mood tremendously.

Last year around this time, I broke up with my partner & began talking to a new lady, a single mother with 2 kids by 2 different men. She had no steady job, as she had just quit her job of 4 years. So she was just doing Uber to earn money. I realized that she had a lot going on, but our vibe when together was indescribable. It’s like I got along with her so well, she seemed so down-to-earth & sweet, funny, smart & caring. Still...I couldn’t kick the idea that we may be incompatible because of the different paths we’re on in life, our backgrounds, goals, etc. I kept in touch with my most-recent ex for 8 months while I talked to this new young lady, something that clearly hurt her but I didn’t care as much as I probably should’ve because I’d convinced myself we’d never be in a committed relationship.

Fast forward to April of this year, I decided to finally give a relationship with her a chance DESPITE the countless red flags & general signs of incompatibility. I relied on my feelings for her to drive the relationship, but my mind hasn’t been at rest since. .

I talked to my old T today & she basically confirmed everything I already knew...that I’m trying to “rescue” this woman, something that I cannot possibly do. There’s likely no way that she & I will work out just given all the differences, not to mention all the toxicity on both our parts. I’m reverting back to old patterns of behavior when it comes to relationships... choosing partners I think I can save, trauma bonding, & the like & I honestly feel trapped! It’s like I know this isn’t good for me & that this woman needs to get herself together in a number of ways, but I also care for her & cant seem to let go.

Have you guys ever been in a similar situation? What’s your advice?? Thanks for reading!