I'm sorry Cash. Giving up working was one of the most painful parts of bipolar. But I know that it was my only option at the time. Sometimes now that I do better on clozapine I think I could work again but I know it isn't true (if for no other reason than I need 12-14 hours of sleep per day and that's not even the best reason) but I know giving up something you enjoy for a reason you hate is really hard.

I hope you can get stabilized and feel better soon; that makes coping with the job thing a lot easier than when you already feel overwhelmed.