I don't think you're in the wrong for "upsetting him", I think you're in the wrong for staying with him. Even if it's true that this only happens once a week, it's still inappropriate for the amount he is drinking and snorting (I hope you're not lying to yourself, he is very much doing cocaine and he will not admit it to you without bursting into a blind rage) and it's highly disrespectful as your husband to go out and party like that and then on top of it not come home. I honestly wouldn't attempt to fix him because people like that will spend the rest of their lives doing this behavior and mooching off people until they're broke and homeless. Hate to say it, but some people just don't want to change, and you have to realize to do what's best for you at this point, and it sounds like you're enabling this behavior by not taking action and allowing him to do this.