Thanks for sharing this. I'm so glad it worked out. Every couple fights, but there are ways to resolve issues that can feel a lot healthier. We had to learn how to do it from a counselor and it takes practice. Sometimes we forget, but we always have it to come back to.

Also, through this technique, I've learned that my perceptions can be wrong. Go figure.

I'm going to share a precious gift with you.

It involves taking the emotion out of the communication. First we signal each other by saying, "I have an issue." That lets the other one know to sit and listen. It isn't too threatening, because we know it works.

Then we say what we experienced through our senses, such as, I heard you say ..., or I saw you do....

Then, and this is the most important element, we say what we thought when we saw or heard that. "I saw you throw your clothes on the floor and I thought, 'He doesn't respect me.'"

Then, we ask for what we need, such as, I need you to put your clothes in the hamper."

There's also a time to talk about if there's history with this issue. Also, there's a time to invent a key word or signal to let the other person know something's going on.

We're not perfect with it, but it's kept us together. Maybe you can find someone to teach this to you. Best wishes.