I hate doing stuff like dentist, shopping, orthodontist (wearing braces), because its so BORING!!!!!

I dont care what random ppl thinks about me. I will see them only once in my life usually and it will be forgotten very fast. But I seem to care what my family thinks about me or ppl that know me well.

When i am doing stuff on my own I feel free, I can come across as a stupid guy etc. I just dont care. But when I am with someone from my family, I am becoming self-conscious and feel like if I say something stupid it will be remembered in my family.

I've heard from my family, I am stupid,laughing at me not once. I am no longer in a contact with my 2 brothers and my father. Once we had to move furniture and my brother said I am too stupid for that, he was very serious.

I was helping my father often, and one day I've heard him saying behind my back I am useless. It was painful for me then, because I've heard I am stupid/useless so often that I started to believe this. The good side of this story is, it was a very good therapy i've heard so many times that i am stupid, that now I just dont care Thanks to my family for teaching me how to not give a fuc.k

Now I focus more on feelings. I feel like the feelings are more important than stuff like intelligence, appearance(I am handsome tho ) etc. I am trying to feel good, happy, proud etc. and I think I am good at it