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Originally Posted by Bill3
He just more or less arbitrarily stops in the middle?
I'm at a loss for words if that is what he does. It's hard to fathom, as with his seeming indifference to your orgasm, especially from someone who is so caring outside of bed.
Perhaps in his presumed inexperience he does not appreciate what it is like to be stopped in the middle?
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His goal is to turn me on and to make sure that I am wet enough. I really think he doesn't understand the female body... I also thought of stopping in the middle to make him experience how frustrating that is, but it is kind of mean...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
When you say "next time", are you meaning that you might speak to him shortly after having had sex? I ask because this might be a conversation to have outside of the bedroom, away from the vulnerability and emotions of the moment.
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I'll take a quiet moment to talk to him. I fully agree that this is not a conversation to have during sex, but outside of the bedroom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
I think that a lot might depend on why he is so disconnected during sex. Perhaps (due to his background) he does not truly accept sex before marriage? Or he does not accept acting on a woman's desires in bed? Or he has had negative experiences in connection with sex?
If you don't see sufficient improvement, how willing might he be to see a sex therapist?
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He is from the Maghreb, so I guess he never got real sexual education and everything had to be done in secret. Maybe the other women weren't as vocal as I am about their needs.. I am going to talk to him as calmly as possible. Staying calm is hard for me, since I get upset easily. I don't want to cry or yell... My feelings for him are getting stronger too and I don't want to break up with him over something that can be learned so easily... I don't know if he would be willing to see a therapist, but we did agree to take STD-tests. I already got tested two weeks ago, but he wants me to come to the center with him because I have not been tested for syphilis. That is really rare and I don't have any symptoms, but I hope I can talk to the nice male doctor alone before my boyfriend goes in. If I get the chance, I'll ask the doctor to talk to him about this.
I really appreciate your responses!