What I just wrote in my post to you is a lot for you to sit and think about Outsider. After all, you love this man and you married him and I am sure this isn't anything you even want to face and think about. I know, I was like that myself. Well, when I look back on how things were with my husband with what I have learned, the red flags were there and I just did not know enough at the time to see them the way I should have. And I believe you love him and that he can be quite lovable at times too. However, it's very important that you take the time to learn about what you are dealing with, even when you don't want to. Well, love can be blind, experienced that myself and it's so important you know what you are actually committing to and how it can affect you in ways you may not be seeing right now.