Yes, I COMPLETELY agree with the WISE and WONDERFUL MrGuermo! I am SO SORRY your Father is being emotionally distant from you and that he wasn't able to support you and give you the Love you NEEDED and DESERVED! My advice would be to either have a SERIOUS DISCUSSION with him about ALL OF THIS and see if he's willing to work with you on rebuilding a meaningful relationship or to just let him go his own way and cut off contacts with him if he's triggering you. I know it's hard when our own parents, the people that should Love us THE MOST and UNCONDITIONALLY , disappoint us. Unfortunately it can happen sometimes. Stay kind to yourself. You're not a bad person AT ALL! You're just standing up for yourself and taking care of yourself. So please hang on to that because IT IS TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT, OK? I am REALLY HAPPY your grandmother is proving supportive to you at least! Support yourself as well, like MrGuermo has already WISELY and WONDERFULLY said BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! : Please be kind to yourself and keep writing here if it helps. I'm always available when you need him. I'll try to get back at you as soon as I possibly can. I am sure many others will also help you. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and your father, your grandmother, wish I am SO GLAD and REALLY HAPPY that she is there to support you and your Family, @pandabear0927, and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking!