Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, you are certainly NOT a mind reader. I don't know if it would have mattered who your wife was with, at this point she is just trying to distance and trying to be free. It sounds like she is experiencing a bad case of caregiver fatigue. And she has a two year old and that's also very demanding of her. The entire picture of her life is probably demanding and boring for her always having to give constant care to others. What's a new house even? Something more to have to tend after? Keep in mind, "moving" is actually rather high on the list of major life stresses. Sometimes things all just come together where a person just suddenly says "enough! I am done with all this constant stress, feeling like I am ALWAYS giving and not getting enough back".

I remember being around that age and talking to my friends that had been married for a while and would say how they look over at their husband and feel UGH, YUCK as if in a loathing way. It's a combination of things that create that and even a lot of women themselves are not sure how to explain it. Relationships are definitely a challenge and people often can get bored and go through phases in their relationships. She probably doesn't want anyone and to just get a break and feel free for a while. It's not surprising she is enjoying the separation, any break, any change can feel freeing and different and any different can give a sense of some kind of much needed break.

I am sorry you are going through this, it's understandable how this is simply throwing you through an emotional loop not knowing what to do about it.

Have you moved into this new home already? Has she talked about how the two of you will be living separately?