Oh, I am sure you are devasted and deeply confused on so many levels and it really sounds like you were just blindsided with this too. Sigh....yeah I have experienced some nasty things in my own life that totally blindsided me, yes would not wish any of these challenges to happen to anyone, I hear you on that one. God, and it's often lonely isn't it? Oh, I know about that one too and I am so sorry for you. Do you have anyone IRL you can talk to about this that can be a source of support for you?

Remember you can always come here and vent when you need to. Sometimes we need to vent because often a person can get stuck in disbelief. From what you are sharing it really sounds like you have been blindsided with this challenge. It can create a powerless and helpless feeling so it's important to be very patient with yourself as you slowly move through whatever this challenge presents to you. You still have your children to love, you still have your job even though these things are not arranged in your life the way you have been experiencing them. It's very NORMAL to feel very out of sorts and confused.