|
Ok rage day is over. Thank you all.
I tried to remain positive only when I felt like it today and not push it and had some pretty good results. I have been trying as part of being grateful and kind to offer more kindness to others and part of that is looking them in the eye. I definitely got out of the habit of doing that when I was shielding myself from people. And it is entirely possible I will have to retreat from doing this. But I was getting coffee and there was this handsome (and young) coast guard guy in front of me (the coast guard facility is right next to our place and they use our cafeteria) and he said sorry for holding me up and I gave him a big smile and said no problem. I was not flirting but he definitely looked my way several other times after that and for the first time in a long time I didn't feel guilty or bad or like there must be mustard on my face. I no matter what he was thinking I just wanted to offer kindness to him. Though in the back of my head I do wonder if I will have to be careful.
I find that when I am looking at the world as offering kindness to others and not feeling guilt and worry about what they will think, I tend to talk better, have funnier jokes and even better timing.
Later in the day I sort of unloaded on my boss about the hassle to get someone to cover (my intent was frustration with my coworkers not covering for me when I cover for them) and he offered to have other co workers in a different department cover for me and I could train them tomorrow. At first I felt weird about it and frustrated but I said... no, this is my reward for being kind all day. My boss wouldn't have offered unless it was what he wanted and I should take it and be grateful. And that is exactly what I am going to do.
|