So sorry for what you are going through. I find relocating really stressful too, especially the first night sleeping in a new home. There's a scary sense of having left everything you knew behind and the darkness in a new bedroom always felt blacker and emptier than your old room. I read recently that moving was ranked among the most stressful life experiences along with events like deaths in your family so don't beat yourself up of you have had a hard time adjusting.

As for your boyfriend, you must not be that bad if he is still around. I'm usually on the receiving end of someone that I suspect of having bpd and the fact that you are willing to acknowledge that you have a problem is refreshing and honest. Given a chance (and if not for my fear of moving), I would run away as fast as I can, so the fact that your boyfriend is staying with you is a good sign. He must have positive reasons for having you in his life.

Could you possibly identify the reason you cannot stay at your jobs? The real reason is usually hidden beneath the more obvious reasons. Just to give an example, if the superficial problem is tardiness or poor concentration, it could be caused by something like lack of sleep, which could be cause by anxiety or having too much to do in the evening, which could be caused by other issues. I'm not an expert but I like to analyze things which can make me a bit neurotic so please ignore my advice if it's off the mark. I just like to get to the bottom of thing by finding out what caused something and what caused the cause until you get to the root cause and look for a solution to that.

I find that posting in forums like this really helps when I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes you get good advice and other times you just feel better for having said what you are going through. I've been going through a bad patch myself and constantly worry that I appear like a negative person around "normal" people. It sucks to be misunderstood. You sound like a really nice person so I hope you can find new friends in Oregon soon and feel like you belong. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Havng things you enjoy doing alone helps a lot. My hobbies are probably the only things that keeps me sane because there is always something I want to do, something to check on, something to wait for or look forward to. I like knitting and keeping an aquarium (fish and decorating/maintaining a tank are a pleasant distrations). What do you enjoy doing?