If this is a repost, I am so sorry. My iPad and iPhone keep eating this message, so I finally went to H's desktop.

After having a miserable weekend double dosing on Abilify and possibly taking some old Cymbalta in the place of tizanidine (a muscle relaxer prescribed by my rheumatologist) that can be taken 4 times daily (which you can bet Cymbalta is not made to take that way), that is probably why my weekend was so miserable. Double Abilify, random Cymbalta (blue and white capsule, just a tad darker blue than than tizanidine without 4 mg written on the pill (easy mixups), maybe some actual tizanidine, and then Wellbtrin XL to top it off, I'm lucky I didn't land in the psych ER.

I was afraid I wouldn't have the willpower to conterfront my pdoc, but when he asked how I was doing, I pulled out my Ziplock bags full of pill containers and said, "Just how am I supposed to manage all this? Only this one tiny container contains Protonix", and that is not going anywhere unless the GI doc says so. I never want to have ulcer surgery again.

He was thoughtful a moment and said, "When I took your case over from Dr. X (retiring pdoc), her opinion was you'd better sleep, or you would soon by in the hospital. I looked over as much of your case as I could, spoke to her about it (I'd given consent), and I agreed we had to get you sleeping more and on a schedule before doing any else." He went on to say he'd wanted to work with the medication dosages, but you were so stressed about big issues. But that's life, and you are less stressed than a year ago." 2018 sucked all year.

So the pdoc took away the muscle relaxer he'd prescribed since tizanidine from the rheumatologist worked better on stiff muscles. He told me he'd been aware of of my telling him I couldn't take 400-500 mg Seroquel at night and function the next day (though Seroquel is a good medicine for sleep) but was unsure to replace it with a med that did work as well though I told him I was likely postpartum on it. He asked me how many mg I Seroquel I could reliably take per night, and I said 100-200mg. So he lowered my Seroquel dosage too 100 mg. I'm still on the Abilify (take it in the morning, it is energizing for me), and he wants a clear chance to see if it helps. It had been helping my mood some before all the stiff muscles. Then he said we will start by weaning off the easiest of the meds to change, Clonidine, which is for blood pressure really but he uses it off label for sleep or anxiety. I am now to half the Clonidine pills. If I can't get myself on a normal sleep schedule, I'm either supposed to take another hydroxyzine or up to 100 mg Trazodone. If I just can't figure it out, I'm to call and leave a message with the staff to call me back.

Sad though he is leaving the old place to a new one (think he may want to start his own practice, but the staff at the old place is top-notch.) Maybe some will go with him. I have the impression my old retiring pdoc had the largest share of the company, and even without her (she gets pretty much 5 star ratings across the board), he is doing quite well, rating 4-5 stars but with a 6 month long waiting list). Still, we may put off moving home until next summer, and he is worth a bit of a drive, considering a lot of the alternatives. They would hear "eating disorder, anorexia, in college, and nope, or "mixed" and didn't want to see me again. Once I finally the building, I think it should be a closer drive anyway. As for a new pdoc, I wonder if there is a way you can meet them, ask about their practice, how they handle certain situations before turning over your entire case to them, the way you can meet and talk with pediatricians before your baby is born.

I suppose my case is a bit of a challenge, which intrigues him as he spends Fridays doing research, but he's a good doctor, and my PCP knows him personally. Might be worth a drive from Beaumont (1.5 hr), stay with my sister nearby, go home the next day. He said that would be possible under the insurance as long as I stay with a doctor in TX, and, if he deems you stable enough, you can have 3 phone appts. before actually showing up.

Only bad thing is H & I had an argument. H claimed I wasn't pushing for a taer fast enough, and I never should retry Abilify though I had something like 15 or 30 mg a dose or with the old pdoc, and no Seroquel, so things were not the same, different stressors, etc. I cried a lot about it last night