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sarahsweets · Sep 06, 2019 at 10:42 AM

HolyCow! @Leeloo108
I wish I had paid better attention before.

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Originally Posted by Leeloo108

Our entire relationship he's always checked out woman online. I can deal with that okay, I mean he's a man, that's what they do, right? I can deal with porn, lingerie, models, actresses, nudie mags, even other woman he randomly looks at on Facebook,

See these would be red flag/no-go things for me. "Men being men" is not an idea I subscribe to.

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but the teen girl thing? I cant get over it. I have poured over many, many articles, medical studies, and other forums trying to understand why. Why teen girls?! I can easily deal with all the rest, but teen girls I can't deal with. I mean, our daughter is 8 now, when she's a teen is he gonna go all American Beauty on one of her friends? Is the teen girl the pinnacle of male attraction? Is it never going to get any better for a man, than a nice fresh teen girl?

Nor should you get over it or move past it. Its not just sexual. A predator is turned on by the power they wield over their prey. He thinks teens are hot but how hot would they be if he was able to smooze them with gifts and have sex with them under the bleachers; messing with their fragile self esteem and emotions?

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Im old now, far away from my teen years and I've always had big insecurity issues about myself and their getting worse now, knowing I'm getting old and now knowing I'll never measure up to a teen girl fantasy.

This is NOT about you. It never was. He has you in a completely different category. He could be married to Taylor Swift but he would still want teenaged girls.

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I recall a teen hostess that worked there that he would mention sometimes. Just in passing, casually, something funny she said or some show she watched that they apparently discussed. She was still in high school and he wanted to go to a band concert of hers. He didnt end up going because I was so weirded out this married man with kids would rather spend one of his few evenings off at a high school band concert instead of with his family.

That is called grooming.

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Around the same time I had discovered a **** pic on his phone he had taken of himself at work, in the damn bathroom stall! Funny how he told me they were so busy that day he barely had time to eat. Strange because he had enough time to lock himself in a stall, get his **** hard, and then take a pic...or i wondered if it was hard already?
I confronted him about the **** pic and he claimed it was meant for me but he forgot to send it. And now I wonder if that pic was meant for Teen Hostess Band girl?

It could have been for teen band girl or teen facebook girl or the teen down the street. But either way he is at work.

Should I be worried?? Should i just shrug this off like it's no big deal? When I look at him now all I see are photos of teen girls smiling in front of their lockers and I'm disgusted. Even if he is just looking, I cant help but wonder what he thinks as his eyes rove over these teen girls. Is it sexual?[/quote]
You should be beyond worried and you need to follow up on this. How do you know he isnt already abusing a girl or sexting a girl?

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He was a shy, nerdy late bloomer and didnt lose his virginity until he was 22, so obviously he never got any teenage girls in bed back in the day.

This is BS- not even a valid excuse. My husband was nerdy and shy and I was his first and only woman and he lost his virginity at age 21

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I dont want to confront him, because I'll have to fess up I was snooping, and Im not a regular snooper. Only if I think something is off and I need to further investigate. And also because I believe whatever he tells me he's convinced himself it's the truth.. even if it's not. I feel like I'm being gnawed alive from the inside out over this. My stomach is in constant knots and I feel sick over it all. Anyone have any advice? Am I being crazy about this???

No offense but F- - - worrying about him knowing you snooped. This is serious and could lead to a felony and ruining a girls life. NOT to mention its absolutely manipulative and unfaithful to you!