Not sure if this is the right site for me but I suffer from a severe case of depression which I take drugs for but they don't work because the problems that cause my depression haven't gone away.

I grew up in a Traditional Family, Mom, Dad, 4 siblings. I was taught at an early age about hard work and self worth and worked very hard to live up to the standards laid out by my parents.

In 2009 I was diagnosed with stage 4A cancer which at the time only had a 25% survival rate but I was strong enough to receive a very aggressive combination of Radiation and Chemotherapy which saved my life but also ended it as I knew it.

Because the treatments were so aggressive I was disabled by the radiation and no longer able to work which is one of the biggest problems I have. My whole life I measured my manhood on how hard I worked and through hard work I married and raised 2 sons which has now been taken away from me..

My other problem is also attached to self image but more than that.

I don't want to sound like a braggart but I was very, very, sexually active and was proud that I was a great lover and very active. At the age of 30 I met my wife who was capable of maintaining a very active sex life and we've been married faithfully for 21 years.

5 years ago my wife's diabetes started taking a toll on health and body and having sex with me hurt her no matter how gentle I was and sex completely stopped for me 2 years ago. The only relief I get is through masturbation which is not enough for me.

My wife is my soulmate and I love her and will not leave her but having been removed from both work and sex, the 2 biggest things in my life I held my manhood too are gone and I have lately been feeling useless.

My wife is open to me having outside sexual partners but I don't want a relationship with any other women other than casual sex and I honestly wouldn't know how to get back in that game being removed from it for so long. I've thought about escorts but paying for sex is not only illegal but something I find repulsive, dirty and exploitative.

A friend of mine told me about sexual surrogates, which I know nothing about, but again after discussing this with my wife, she was open to.

So Here I am, a broken, confused man. Looking for a solution to my unorthodox problem. I may be 54 and battling cancer again but I am still very attracted to women and still have a very active, very starved libido.

Any and all help, ideas, directional would be greatly appreciated.