Went well with consulting T (K) today. She was really validating. She even said, "What the h*ll?" to something T said Tuesday (about how he's one of millions of people, why do I care so much what he says?). She thinks I need a change, that maybe I've outgrown him. She was really bothered by some of the stuff he said in the email and in his hesitation in answering my "Was it just fears of liability, or were you genuinely concerned about me, too?" question from Tuesday. She said she's open to working with me longer-term if I want or to be a bridge between T and whoever I opt to see next. That i can take my time deciding. Very different from T's recent "Leave or don't leave" email comment... I liked her better this time. She's trained in attachment, so really gets all that stuff. And thinks what's going on for me with T is working out something from my childhood. But she said while I couldn't trade in my father as a kid, I have that power now. Which resonated. She was completely following my lead in those thoughts. She just seemed appalled at some of what T has done and said. Which I think I needed to hear from another T.


And she felt that he should be giving me emotional support while encouraging me toward independence. It's not one or the other. And said how he could have replied to my email a couple Fridays ago if he didn't feel in a place where he could/wanted to reply to my email. That would have been much more caring than what he did (even if it involved referring me to crisis line). So it all really helped, particularly seeing her body language reaction to some of it.