Never have, hope one day that will change....
I don't know where to begin frankly..

I get opportunities... but then I am so extremely awkward the ladies just back right off after a mere sentence or two are exchanged.
The exception to this is when I've been kind of forced to get to know someone, say through an inpatient type set-up.
Then I may have several conversations... even flirt a tiny bit (really tiny)
But...... nothing ever comes of it; because I don't want it to. It's all I want, but I don't want it - as the potential humiliation and exposure for myself is too much to even consider. So If it's going well (for my standards) I avoid. I may even sabotage the conversation just so that I feel justified in leaving, or to make them want to leave...... I just can't stand closeness.
It's all I desire but it's literally physically painful. I can't bare it.
Don't know how on earth to get through this. Compassion, therapy and exposure to socialising with others I guess.... but that is tough.