Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I greatly dislike the current male therapist as he is described, but I am not certain you are interpreting this new therapist's reactions correctly. I think trying a new one for a while might help you see if it is a style change that might help, but I would be cautious in interpreting what this new one thinks. I think you went through a period with the current male therapist where you were interpreting every reaction he had as agreeing about how you saw the marriage counselor and your criticism of him and now you are doing the same thing with this woman. It is just how I see it.
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Agreed, there is an element of triangulation in most of the therapy relationships you describe, you and T against MC, you and K against T, what if it was just you and you didn't blame T for what he "should or shouldn't" do but instead took some of it on?
Don't get me wrong, you know I don't have good thoughts about T and haven't since....the beginning? Everything you say, every decision, like drinking or not, is related to another person and not just related to you. Your drinking is due to a feeling in you, not a responsibility of T.
I do agree that you seem to need ssomeone more gentle in your life than exists currently, but that does not mean taking sides.
My current T has not judged ex T 1 or given her opinion, I can tell some times she does not agree with everything, but her refusal to join me and hate on EX T 1 gave me space to examine everything.
She did eventually admit that she did not agree with Ex T 2 and was glad the complaints board also saw things that way, but that was after close to a year.
So your view may be different but I do wonder if it is best to keep looking. Validation is nice but long term it may not provoke the changes you need.After all, how can you ever examine your part in all this when someone is so willing to blame T with you?