Hey guys, thanks for all your responses. The guy from yesterday says it was the best thing ever. I doubt anything will happen with him. I was gonna cancel my volunteering yesterday afternoon so I could spend the whole day with him but I didn't. I volunteer as a peer recovery volunteer at a local day centre. So I don't want them finding out but 1 of the nurses saw me and knew something was off with me. We chatted. She was like if you need to go home I was like nah it's cool. This guy on Tues has been 2 years in the making. I always chicken out. But I'm determined to see him for real he's driving 4 hour's to me. I'm grateful for all your replies and thoughts. I told my CPN a few weeks ago I was mildly manic she wasn't concerned. My therapist is concerned for my safety. But says she can't make me not see these guys. I think I'm maintain stability. I mean no-one can see this side to it all. Mind you I spend most of the day from 4am ish or so chatting to the guys. I'm chatting to about 40 guys from all over the place. I'm still up and its 1:30am I want to do an all nighter.... I'm staying at my Sister's. Someone I told says I am attention seeking through these guys as I'm not wanting sex. I don't know. I feel so alive I'm singing with the birds