I think a good start is for you to stop believing what you were imprinted with about "being a man". It's not JUST about working or being able to have sex and deciding you are good at it. For starters you should be proud of yourself for surviving all that cancer treatment and surviving cancer. Often "being a man" has a lot to do with "surviving" and even being able to love your wife and ACCEPT that she has health challenges and can no longer engage in sex. Sometimes it's the other way around you know where it's the man who has a problem and can't perform sexually and a lot of women GRACEFULLY accept it and love and care about their man anyway. There are plenty of women who don't say anything and just masterbate. LOL, and there are plenty of women who have men who THINK they are great in bed but instead are selfish and the woman ends up just putting up with it and satisfying herself too. Meh, they reason it away because the man happens to make good money and pay the bills. Ugh, so much men just don't know. You know, a lot of women don't marry a man for sex, instead they marry a man because they feel they are "safe" with him. There are men who think they are good in bed but NEVER just cuddle and love their woman too and often that's what the woman wants more. Some men believe that if they buy flowers for the woman it pretty much opens the door to have sex too and that night. You were not the only one that raised two sons, and you did not "have them" either. Oh you helped, I know but you certainly did not do it all. And how is THAT taken from you?

Yeah, men don't want to actually "pay for it" either. They would rather believe they have it all and the woman NEEDS them sexually. This is twice I am thinking about and posting about that movie "When Harry Met Sally". LOL the best scene is in that restaurant when Meg Ryan showed Harry how a woman can "fake it" so CONVINCINGLY. Every time I watch that scene I laugh so hard. I love how Rod Reiner's mother played the part of the other older woman who told the waitress "I'll have what she is having" LOL, sooooo funny. Oh, and spoiler alert, the women in those XXX rated whatever that people watch are not REALLY orgasming either. Oh, sorry, did you think they were/are?

I honestly do not know where you can get some "hook up" where it's not about "paying for it" to be honest. Did you trying googling it?

Being a man isn't JUST about working and sex. You should be glad you still even have your wife to be around for you. My FIL talks about missing my MIL pretty much every day. And it isn't about sex, pretty sure he stopped being able to do that years ago. And, you should be glad you survived cancer too and you still do have two sons.