LT, though I am lifting it out of context, I think your T is right about one thing: Leave or don’’t leave.

Either he’’s not the t for you, and it is time to find a new t who can help you.
Or you’re bumping up against some scary hard boundary stuff you’d benefit from working through with him.

I don’’t know the right answer to that for you. But this time, effort, energy focused on stay-go, and the search for a new t while you’’re still seeing him doesn’t help you do either, it just keeps you stuck in triangulation and focused away from the issues that brought you into therapy.

And a because this is just hard stuff.