This is where I keep being unsure. Is it that I don't want to deal with the boundary stuff and with his being honest with me about his reactions to things I say? I feel kept seeing him after various other conflicts because I kept thinking "It's about what I need, not what I want." And that maybe I needed to face those hard truths.

But I also am starting to think that maybe I've learned all I can from him (and I have learned quite a bit). That I've gone as far as I can with him, at least for right now. That maybe I just need a different approach. Which is why in my searches, I've been looking for psychodynamic, humanistic, and/or attachment-based.

I want someone who is comfortable working with transference, who will explore what's going on with me without making it all about them. Which is what I feel like T is doing, focusing on his reactions instead of what's behind what I'm saying and why. Whereas ex-MC, who was psychodynamically trained, would tie things back into childhood and say things like testing him are natural. And not get all bent out of shape about it. I want a T who can handle me working through something with them. I don't feel like my current T can do that.

I am considering just going in Monday and saying I need to take a break (vs. terminating), leaving it open-ended (he's said before if I want to see another T for a while, I can always come back--want to make sure that's still true).

And thanks for the hugs.