I've tried to reach out to 2 friends tonight but nothing. Why do I bother with people in real life. They just let me down. If this guy let's me down on Tues I don't know what I'll do. I feel so alive and invisible in a way. Speaking to a mental health nurse friend who's been chatting to me trying to get me to call her or her call me cause she says it's out of character for me to be like this. I haven't known her for long so this side she hasn't really seen.