Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart
He is sharing a lot of his emotions and responses, I would struggle with that. I have had Ts in the past who weren't dissimilar actually in the kind of responses they gave me, and I found myself becoming more and more distressed and pulled into a very difficult dynamic as a result. I had a T who told me she felt controlled by me because I sent a text when I was upset, and stuff like that. And each time I tried to sort it, it ended up more distressing and actually rather like my difficult marriage in a lot of ways. I know that my T was triggered because she was having strong counter transference feelings towards me in wanting to look after me as a child (this was obvious to me as time went on) which as a T she knew she couldn't, but we went deeply into what felt like a power struggle because we were battling each other emotionally. So I think I get it.. It sounds to me like your T is absolutely having emotional reactions to you, he's triggered and doesn't know how to deal with the situation effectively in a way that doesn't worsen things for you. There is a place for a T to disclose their emotions and be real, it's good sometimes to do that, but if the T is triggered, that is just a receipe for disaster.
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Thanks, Lonely. Yeah, a power struggle is what this feels like at times. I'm not normally like this with people. For a while, I thought maybe it was good that he was drawing stuff out of me. But it's starting to feel almost...toxic or something. Like we both keep triggering each other.
T has told me he shares his feelings with me more than with his other clients because he knows I'll wonder what's going on in his head. And he doesn't want me to wonder or try to guess. But as I said Tuesday, the thing is, what's actually been in his head lately has been worse than I'd have imagined it being. Which then makes me worry what everyone else in my life is actually thinking of me (I do check in with some of them, like my H). He also told me somewhat recently how he imagines my H must be frustrated with me about a certain issue. So then I got all stressed about that, finally asked my H, and he said that T was wrong, he isn't feeling that at all (H was annoyed with T when I told him he'd suggested it). So he caused me unnecessary stress. And it's not the first time something like that has happened.