It does sound really hard LT. I don't feel it is right for a T to say that about your H or indeed anyone, as it's about you in the room with him, no one else. I can see what you're saying before that he makes a lot of stuff about him. Maybe it was his frustration that he was projecting onto H? I can only say what it sounds like from my perspective and obviously I don't really know, but I do know what it's like to work with a T where you feel completely stuck in a dynamic that sucks you in deeper and deeper. In my case, trusting my intuition/gut feeling was the right thing to do - I sensed I'd gone as far as I could with a T, and that turned out to be correct. I know it's hard for many people in therapy to trust themselves though due to trauma etc. If your T is able to contain your anxieties that would be good, but it seems you don't feel reassured by anything he says and even feel he makes things worse. My current T is really excellent at containing the catastrophic stuff that sometimes goes through my head, and the difference to me is astounding. She doesn't get drawn into anything, but is by the same token deeply empathic. Having gone through intense battles with past Ts, it really does make a difference. There are two of you in this, and yes you're the one having the therapy, but T has his own issues as well, and it does seem that they are playing a part in all this. I think you are wise to seek out consultations with other Ts, if only to have a break and a breather.