Hello all...victim of repeated abuse here, trauma....I don't think I've ever had a real friend, even though I've been one, for sure. I'm finally. standing up for myself and not letting people take advantage of my kindness or mistake it for weakness. I suffer from Lyme disease, ptsd, anxiety.......recently moved to Mexico...thought I had a friend here. She reached out to me several times when stressful things were happening and I was there for her. Moved here and she seemed to really be 'dominant' and at times disrespectful to me. For a few months I just sort of distanced.....then I finally said something about her continued negativity and how it was affecting me. She wanted to talk more about it at that time, but I was working online and had deadlines, and then leaving for a two day trip the next day, so I couldn't. When I got back, I sent her an email saying I would like to talk things through. She replied with she wasn't sure what happened and wanted to 'gather her thoughts.' I said fine. Then two days later I sent a very compassionate email telling her I felt like she had been very dominating in the relationship and, at times, I felt very disrespected. I told her this very very compassionately and also told her how much I valued the relationship. She returned the email fairly quickly saying she could see how I could have taken those things 'like that' and she'd try to do bette in the future. I sent an email back immediately saying...'oh thank god, now we can start over because I cried all the way to Morelia.' Then complete and utter silence for three days. It really hurt....I mean I felt like she just didn't care and her previous email was just a 'pat' answer ...but she didn't really care about my feelings...when I'd been there. for her so many times. After 3 days I told her how I felt she didn't care about my feelings and I requested she not contact me. After three weeks she 'messed with me''''......telling the landlord to have me pay to put up my own clothes line because she didn't want me using the community clothes line. I was angry, but wasn't acting on it.......but unfortunately ran into her on my way out of the hacienda and totally lost it. Told her it was fine she didn't care about having a relationship with me, and that hurt me, but fine......BUT DON'T **** WITH MY LIFE. I completely lost it............I'm still carrying this around after a month....did I handle things right.....???I've so much self doubt. Is she the bad person...or me? I have had a lot of therapy.....I'm so exhausted with my health.....this has really sent me back with stress..........I can't afford to have things like this happen. Please help me......I'm literally afraid of people, afraid of getting near anyone anymore. I'm so tired..........stressed.......Please give me some perspective, validation? Did I do the right thing.......?I mean, yea, shouldn't have blown up......but it happened.