What would happen if, instead of talking about T and focusing on T, you just went into a session and talked about the crap that is behind it all? You just put s o much energy into fighting and trying to get him to be perfect I wonder what would happen if you focused that energy on your childhood issues or quitting drinking?

I do it too, try and find away to "prove" T is not trustworthy so I don't have to talk about this stuff. How much of it is wrong T and how much is avoidance? If you start with a new T will you just repeat this cycle?

I also wonder of all the things you cite with T talking about his feeling or response, how much was a response to what you have asked or discussed? Yes he is behaving imperfectly but how long do you search for the "perfect" T to avoid the issues you are having?