Yeah it's hard. Also, give yourself some compassion. First off, dating is hard. Second, you are dealing with mental health issues. So give yourself an extra break for both of those things. I find the less I concentrate on dating, the more things go naturally. I know it's kind of a strange thing to try to express, but the less I worry about it, perhaps, the more things flow. That said, I haven't really been able to have a steady relationship ever. Also, I'm not opposed to the idea of being alone later in life, though I know you expressed the desire to be with someone. About revealing the diagnosis--don't treat it as an obligation--treat it as something you will reveal to whomever you're dating at the right moment when you feel comfortable. You don't need to tell everything on the first date (or even the second, or third, or fourth, etc.) All you really need to do when you're just starting to date someone is to see if you have a connection or not. If so, great. If not, then move on. Funny how I can give dating advice but yet I've never had a real relationship.