4 episodes in two months is a lot to handle. I am sorry you are going through this difficult time. I spent a lot of time trying to answer 'why me?'. There are infinite possible answers and none of them brought me comfort. I moved on to 'what now?' instead. That was a question with answers I could actually work with.

I found that Christina is spot on. You have the opportunity to attack bipolar disorder and attacking from all angles yields results. Research all you can, follow the advice of your doctor, work on yourself in therapy, take optimal care of your body by eating well and exercising, get the proper amount of sleep, and care for your spirit. Take control of as much as you can and you can rest better knowing you're doing your part and doing it well.

Sending good thoughts for a quiet mind and a peaceful day for you.