I get very mild depressions nowadays, and it's gotten to the point where I can't even tell that I am experiencing depression. I guess I am just so used to depressions where I'd bawl my eyes out every night and fixate on how I wish I were dead that when I compare my "old" depressions to my "new" depressions, I realize that my "new" depressions seem to cause anhedonia, lack of motivation, excessive sleep, and lethargy. Sadness and suicidal thoughts really aren't present.

Needless to say, I think my meds take the edge off things even if they don't prevent depression. While I would obviously prefer not to have depression at all, I am willing to accept the milder symptoms because I do not like being heavily medicated, and that is my choice.

So, perhaps you are in the same boat now: milder depressions because of meds, or maybe even because your bipolar has morphed into something a little different from before.

I definitely think depression can be difficult to identify when you're so used to the deep, dark depressions that cause suicidal thoughts. You almost feel "normal" during these milder depressions, but something in the back of your mind tells you that maybe something isn't quite normal. It causes you to think more deeper about your symptoms and may even lead you to question things more. It's very frustrating, to say the least.