I hate that it's 2am and I'm freaking out. And my only 2 options are call a crisis line or go to the ER. Which I can't do the last one when H is out driving still. I just need to go to bed.

I realized today it's been 9 months since my "brother" killed his girlfriend. Halloween is next month and is a reminder that neither of them will be around this year. Frankly I don't think my parents will throw a Halloween party this year after all this. He also has a court date next month too before his trial is set.