Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
I am so sorry you live like this, tending the garden but not being tended you yourself in your relationship. There's something so poignant & symbolic about the garden, the young trees alive and the annuals passing away no matter what humans do, that being their nature. Like the annuals, we only have one life. To me, Object Constancy is what babies learn playing peek a boo, but which damaged adults ( like me) struggle with: that when someone is physically gone, they still keep you in mind and you still keep them in mind. I think of the cruel way you are treated as " splitting" .
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Yeah, the thing with the babies is object permanance which is very similar to object constancy. It's a bit scary when you say humans are annuals. I think we are more like perennials becuase we tend to live a long time but even perennials have limited lifespans because nothing lasts forever. Narcissists probably can't accept that because the truth about the world scares them. If they know every life is limited they would feel pressure to make the most of it instead of making themselves and everyone else miserable during our only chance to live. Maybe that's why they treat every loss or failure as a bit unnatural mistake and has to find someone to blame for it.