Its not easy, but its you or her. Shes making it a bad deal, not you. You would like it to be a better deal for you, but she is not willing to give that. Well, why should you be the patsy, the dummy hand?

It is REALLY REALLY hard to accept that this is what she thinks of you, i know. I also know she is wrong in her evaluation. Why she persists in it, i dont know. Maybe somebody did it to her. Maybe you remind her of your father so she feels justified. But you dont have to take it anymore. You just dont. Shes not worrying about being nice. You only have to be as nice as she is to you. Thats what i figure "honor" your parents means.