I am so sorry you're hurting, @Carmina! Do you think Polyamory may just not be the suited lifestyle for you? It does seem like you want some company, and of course there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that... but perhaps it's best to be honest with your partner and tell her the truth. Tell her that you're feeling alone and that you're struggling. Hopefully she'll understand what you mean and perhaps you'll be able to come to an agreement. Please discuss this with her. Communication is FUNDAMENTAL in EVERY relationship after all! You may also want to see a therapist if these feelings continue although I don't think it's necessary in this case. I'd suggest to talk to her first and decide where do you want to go with her from there. So yes, definitely talk things through with her! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need advice and support or even simply someone to talk to. I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY and WONDERFULLY help you out as well if you just ask! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Carmina, your partner, your family, your friends, your doctors and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking!